Saturday, November 22, 2008
Chomp MooOoOoo~ Chomp.
I miss you.
Will I forget how you look like?
Will I forget your voice?
Every now and then I could still hear you telling me to be 'Guai' and to take care of my parents or that I could still hear u saying 'Orh' when I tell you I'm going home to rest or when I leave your wake.
Your touch, your hugs, your laughter will be forever etch in my mind.
As much as I want you to stay, I have to let you go.
Image of you flashes through my mind like lightning, bright, sudden and uncontrollable.
The day before you passed, I tried waking you up, but you did not budge.
The day I saw you being carried on a stretcher to the hospital.
The day you hug me on your bed when I told you we are all worried after one of your worst week end, telling me everything is alright when it is not.
The day that you had to lean on me jus to sit up.
The day u recongnized me and told me you wanted to give me something.
The day when you were laughing so happily till you had a stomachach for you called my uncle 'Toilet door"
The days when I go over to you place in between class break to accompany you. You told me your stories and I cried with you.
The day you came over to my place to stay and you had a bad chest pain, you told me not to cry and jus to apply ointment for you.
Those days in my childhood when you would rather get us to stay over at your place instead of going to ths student care for you know that we don like it there. you will buy us snacks and ice cream. You will hug me when my sister bullied me and pulled my hair when we were young for I don't fight back. When it rains, you will carry me knowing that I was afraid and stand by the window to look at the lightning.
I will miss you badly.
I will miss you telling me my childhood stories even when u repeat it over again.
You have gone to a better place and I can no longer feel your touch. You wil be a part of me no matter where u are.
I love you grams.
The Whining Fat Cow
2:31 PM
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Chomp MooOoOoo~ Chomp.
Grams got hospitalise again.
Went over to her place after school, only to find that she was looking pale and in great pain. Watching her being taken away by the paramedics is a really heartbreaking affair. Knowing that she is hospitalise is one thing but seeing her being placed on a stretcher and and being wheeled to the ambulance is another total different thing.
Her maid cried and I almost did to.
I gave her a kiss on her forehead and 5 hours later at 2.30am this morning, she was warded, moaning and deluded. Part of me was exhausted, wanting to head back home as school starts bright and early the next day. On the other hand, I wanna stay by her side and skip school entirely just so that she would not be alone as she longs for human contact right at the moment.
Thinking that she will be better when there is constant care provided by the nurses and doctors we admitted her in but things were not as what we hope it would to be. She looks worst and barely ate the whole day today, she do not recongnize anyone of us and she is still in great pain.
Her laughter, her smile, her calling out to me, and those time she took care of me when I was young with the extra hugs and kisses are flashing in my mind constantly. She is all I can think and talk about. Hence, tears has been my best friends lately.
Being by her side is the most important thing in my life right now. Neglecting my friends is not something that I want to do but I can't help it. Maybe I have a choice which I know I do, but now all I want to do is to be selfish for her. This is the only little thing that I can do for her right now.
I'm sorry if my posts seems to be centered around her and it's all dank and gloomy. I love everyone of you and want u guys to be safe and not go through this if possible.
Good Night!
The Whining Fat Cow
9:08 PM
Monday, November 3, 2008
Chomp MooOoOoo~ Chomp.
Shit, I just realized that the project that I chose to do was really chim-a-logy and I don't see my self picking anything else.
Should I challenged myself?
On another note, I'm confused and overwhelmed with everything that is going on in my life. I think I am going to explode soon and being hooked to Stephanie Meyers, Twilight and it's many volume is making things worst.
It's gonna be a hell of a month for me.
Sigh.
Love my grams a lot, she's super cute today.
The Whining Fat Cow
10:16 PM